shooshoos

Mon, 07 May 2007 00:04:50 GMT

new journal:

http://dromino.livejournal.com/

Wed, 02 May 2007 08:04:08 GMT

so, i'm asking again, well, pleading again. my paper is due friday and i really need some quotes from people. please take 5 minutes and just throw something at me. refer to my last entry.

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:19:06 GMT

okay, i need a little imput here.

it's for a research paper i'm doing..

just tell me, in a brief sentence or two, what it means to be american. what is an american?

it can be good, bad, about anything specific, or really general. i just need many different opinions.

thank you! and please, be a little serious here.

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:16:44 GMT

woohoo! i'm going to chicago!

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 05:37:47 GMT

1. Name the people who made you smile on friday?
hmmm matty

2. What were you doing at 8 this morning?
sleeeeeeping.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
sitting here.

4. Do you know this song “we stay fly no lie you know this”?
nooo.

5. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"jack!"

6. How many different things did you drink today?
water, milk, juice.. so 3.

7. What's your favorite color?
green. or coral.

8. What was the last thing someone did for you?
matty got me flowers!

9. What was the last gift you received for your birthday?
that was like a year ago.. so i can't remember without a lot of effort.

10. What color is your mouse?
it's a laptop.

11. Where do you keep your change?
in a pizza flavored pringles can

12. What was the weather like today?
great. sunny. it was the only thing that kept me going.

13. What is the best ice-cream flavor?
chocolate-filled. you know.. chocolate ice cream.. with fudge swirls, with chocolate pieces.. and such.

14. What is something you are excited about?
this weekend. getting out!

15. When was the last rainbow you saw?
don't remember.

16. What's your favorite gardening tool?
if i gardened, i might have a favorite.

17. Do you have a sister?
yes

18. Are you very modern?
hm... that's too general to answer. in what aspect?

19. Do you want to cut your hair?
hmm.. maybe a trim.

20. What do you spend most of your money on?
hah, uh. no comment.

21. If you could change anything about the past two months what would it be?
the people i spent time with. they ended up being a waste of time.

22. Do you watch The OC?
no

23. Does your screen name have an 'x' in it?
no

24. Do you know anyone named Steven?
hmm i did.

25. Do you make up your own words?
not on a regular basis.

26. How was your new year?
good.

27. Are you typically a jealous person?
sometimes.

28. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A
anna.

29. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'
kelly.

30. Who's the 1st person on your received calls list?
anna

31. What did the last text message you sent/received say?
"cool."

32. Do you chew on your straws?
of course

33. Do you have long hair?
no

34. What is the next concert you're going to?
uhhhhhhh no idea. i'm seeing rent though.

35. Who is the worst person in your life?
hah, why would i answer that?

35. Who is the coolest person in your life?
frank?

36. What is something you say a lot?
"like"... i hate it.

37. What is the last thing you ate?
uhhhh a sandwich

38. What do you have on your walls?
not much. some artwork.

39. Do you work tomorrow?
i don't have a job.

40. What about marriage?
should be awesome.

41. What's your middle name?
alyson

42. What should you be doing right now?
maybe cleaning..

43. Do you have a nickname?
not really.

44. Are you a heavy sleeper?
oh yeah. i'm out cold.

45. Do you like to run?
uhhhh i probably wouldn't like it now.. but when i'm in the swing of things, it's alright.

46. When was the last time you used a skateboard?
like.. 7th grade.

47. What is the best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
I cant pick... disturbia was so good.. and i just saw turtles can fly.. SO GOOD.

48. Is there anyone you like right now?
of course.

49. Do you prefer winter or summer better?
i'm thinking summer. it's hard to be in a bad mood when it's so sunny.

50. Do you wish you were somewhere else?
hmm, just with someone. matt should be home any minute, so i guess this is good timing.

i'm sorry for anyone who actualy read that.

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 02:19:57 GMT

i'm itching to get out and do something!

i need a job.

i really want to take dance lessons. i think i could be really good at it. hah, eventually i want to learn how to dance burlesque. hah.. seriously, though.

i also pretty much need to take singing lessons. i really want to do something with my voice, and i definitely need some private instruction to help me out.

without a job though, i'm kinda out of luck.

saw "disturbia" a few days ago. man, it was a really, really good thriller. you couldn't predict what would happen, and everyone in it was a damn good actor. and of course, it had shia labeouf starring in it and he is so damn entrancing, it's insane. point is, it's a realy good movie, with good acting.

damn i already am in desperate need to have hair again. it's so hard sometimes to still feel girly without hair. i want to at least keep it for the summer though, and then i'm going to grow it out. i miss my curls and well, i kind of destroyed their existance when i cut my hair.

pretty much, things are less than good. just trying to focus on things that make me happy though. i guess that's why i'm so anxious to take voice lessons. damn i miss singing in choir, and learning music, and memorizing difficult intervls and rhythm and then feel so good when you nail it.

i performed for the first time in a while, and i think it was the most comfortable i've been while singing. i didn't do my best, but i did okay, and the crowd seemed to enjoy it. i actually had fun being up there, and just let myself relax and enjoy having everyone pretty much lend their attention to me, willingly. it was a nice feeling, especially with my dad supporting me right beside me. it just made me realize even more that i want to sing, and i want to make music, and perform, and overdose on drugs because of my crazy rock and roll life! okay, just kidding about that last part. but, i want to make it, and i think i can if i put a little more effort into it. because right now.. i'mmm singing in my car. hah, yeah, that's gonna get us a deal. matt and i can create some good stuff because we're both good at different aspects of music, and kind of fill in the blanks for each other.

alright, i'm done talking about again things i don't have.

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 00:26:44 GMT

i finally got around to doing this.

#10.jake gyllenhaal - gotta give it to him for donnie darko.

#9travis barker: mmm skinny, yet buff, and covered in tattoos.

#8.george clooney - man this guy is just great. it's the smile, and his eyes.

#7.ashton kutcher - i am a huge fan of kelso. and you can't deny his beauty.

#6.brad pitt. i used to think, what's the big deal? but then i caved. he is amazing in fight club.

#5.edward norton - he is probably my favorite actor. man, there's just something about him, and he is too AMAZING in fight club.

#4.johnny knoxville. DAMN. jackass is always good.

#3.justin timberlake. i've loved him since i was... like 9. he is damn sexy, and so so charming.

#2.um, shia labeouf. there's something about him that is so damn attractive. we just saw 'disturbia'. he is a damn good actor and the movie was realllllyyyy good.

#1.brandon boyd - the ultimate. that's all.

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 04:44:13 GMT

i realized why i never write in here anymore. there's nothing i can write about that isn't going to disappoint someone.
i'm kinda sick of censoring. in all shapes in form in my life. and everyone else's.

well this morning on the bus, i got to thinking. It was one of those thinking times when there's never a moment of silence. One thought led to the next, and the next, and the next, until i had examined every aspect of my current life. Finally got to my stop, and i get off the bus just to be welcomed by the city with pouring rain.

i don't think i looked anyone in the eyes today.

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 05:25:07 GMT

you know, i keep thinking i'm doing better, but always fall back to the fact that i'm disappointed in so many things. it's very hard to like myself right now, my friends situation is pretty much non-existent, and we're pretty damn broke, and my search for a good job isn't going well.

i'm getting really burnt out. it'd be nice to have someone to talk to once in a while. i can't help but keep latching onto those few good friendships i used to have. i'm sick of being completely confused by my few cornish friends. god sometimes it seems like i'm just tagging along. i really didn't think i was completely repellent, but sometimes i just can't help but tell myself that. it's actually pretty pathetic. i didn't even want to write an entry about this because how lame is it? it's pretty embarrassing when i go off to college, leaving a highschool with few friends, and ending up pretty much hanging out in the library doing my work, or going home. there are already so many groups at cornish, that it's past the point to really get to know anyone else. of course i know that's not true, but it's pretty damn hard to break through shit like that. especially if your me, little anxiety-filled me.

is it so much to have a few friends that actually call me? want to hang out? want to tell me things, and listen to me? and for once, not be so awkward because i constantly tell myself something is wrong.

i wish i could say i was doing great, but then.. well, i'd be lying. matt and our kitties seems like the only things keeping me afloat.

i wish i could like myself.
i wish i had the balls to change things.
i wish i didn't have these things to say.

i wish i was have fun being 19. it's not that fun.
but then again, i'm probably just being pessimistic.

i can't help but say FUCK THE WORLD.

oh yeah, and FUCK AMERICA. you're such an asshole!

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 02:31:53 GMT

so i'll sit here
with my dirty mug
writing new stories for myself
throwing books off the shelf
wishing you were here
and wishing you understood
wishing for everything to change
and nothing to fail

so i'll sit here
static and still
hoping that when i open my eyes, things will be different
hoping i will be different
hoping that the answer is easy, and simple.
hoping that you'll come along and things will fit
sitting here makes no difference
but i'll sit here, hoping it will

so i'll sit here
watching dusk come again too quickly
and feeling the same way every morning
counting the times there was a chance
and losing the opportunity to do something more
than just be unhappy with what is here now
maybe next time, the bright side will charm my attention
and send me to the edge and over
to a place where i can run.

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 05:34:25 GMT

i've been all over the place the past couple weeks. things have been crazy. spring break was pretty chill except for not really hanging out with anyone from seattle. michel was just here for a week. we went to seattle one night at around 10:30, and walked around all night. now when i say all night, i mean, we were there until morning, when business people began going to their business jobs. we took the bus back home at 8 am. it was me, matt, michel, and dena..

unfortunately, michel had the stomach flu the 2nd half of the week, and i felt really sick too, so that half of the week consisted of melting into the couch.

school sucks right now. school is general is a really hard thing for me. especially with the commute. for those of you who know me enough, you know how i pretty much feel sick or like crap all the time. so having home be at least an hour away, is really hard for me. i get sick and school, and there's no where to go. it's also hard getting up at 5:30 for my early class, and having to pay 2.50 to ride a bus to seattle which i only end up falling asleep on anyway, therefore putting me a groggy, grumpy mood. commuting bites. the good thing is, next year will be so much better. freshman year here is such a joke. the classes are a joke. except for life drawing, the one class i had to drop out of. next year we finally get to work on our concentrations in the studios. god i cannot wait to take photo again. i haven't done any photography in over a year. it's so crazy, because senior year, that's all i did. i was pulling prints out left and right. so, i am SO looking forward to access to the darkroom. also, today, i saw the sculpture room for the first time today. it made me drool a little. so much room, and tools, and materials, and fucking great stuff. i cannot wait for my sculpture concentration either. also, the sculpture teacher is bombbb. and for my third concentration, i will most likely be taking video. i can't let my love for technology slip! so, basically, school is over in 5 weeks, and then i have 4 months to work my ass off at whatever job i can land.

I cannot wait to get out of federal way. i need to live in seattle next year. i can't have a repeat of this year. no way.

i hardly ever update anymore and i feel like when i do it's boring, and just listing what's "new"...or something.

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 00:21:50 GMT

well, because people are selfish assholes, our spring break camping isn't going to happen anymore.

i'm unbelieveably fed up with the few friendships in my life right now. i'm ready to just give up.

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 05:20:23 GMT

SHIT people are frustrating. i feel like people aren't being honest and they're just saying what they think i want them to say.

some friendships are just ridiculous.

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:58:19 GMT

i, after a long hiatus, posted a new entry in my photo blog: here.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 06:07:51 GMT

the next two weeks, after this one, will be pretty good. well, actually, the next 3 weeks. so next week, one of my classes is off for an extra week, prior to spring break, which is the week after. Then, the week after spring break, my best friend from school who moved to chicago is coming to stay with us for her spring break. We are going to party so hard. I miss her and we can totally party just as much as the other, so we're a good match.

My grades are not so good right now because of how much school I've been missing, but I'm going for perfect attendance for the rest of the year. We are done with our first year of college in early May. I'm so blown away by that. 2nd year will be good, but hard. Most likely, and if it doesn't happen i may just give up and die, Matt and I will be living in Seattle, and will be close to school. Sophomore year we finally get to use the studios and learn some technique. We start studying our three concentrations. It's a much more academic year. My three concentrations will most likely be Photography, Sculpture, and Video. I'm still iffy on the video though. i know I want to do photography and sculpture, but I'm not sure what else to concentrate on. There are a lot of options. And, to make it more confusing, there are only 2 sculpture teachers. One is my foundations teacher this year, and i can't stand her. The other teacher, gave a lecture last week that I missed. My friend reported that he was hard to listen to. I guess that's better than Ruthie. Gah.

I really want Matt and I and maybe other people to go down to Tennessee for Bonaroo Festival. It's a 3 day music festival that tool, the police, and the white stripes are headlining.

speaking of bands: some news:

chris cornell quit audioslave! this is good.
danny carey, tool's drummer, pulled his bicep or something so there tour is being postponed. damnit.
rage is reuniting to play at Coachella in LA as a protest agains't bush.

THEREFORE, with chris cornell being gone from auidoslave, that leaves the opportunity for rage to unite for possibly good, or at least for a while. I know it might not happen, but matt and i are getting our hopes us. everything is going to plan so far. (for those of you who are confused, audioslave is rage against the machine but with chris cornell as the singer, instead of zach who sings for rage.)

Little Jack is doing well. He did catch a cold, but we got him on some medicine and he's doing fine. Unfortunately, Frank caught the same cold so we have to now get him medicine. We have spent hundreds this months on the kitties. They're worth it though. They seriously are my children and would die if anything happened to them. I've been thinking lately, that even though I love art, I feel like I have bigger passions. Animals, for instance. I am never not interested in animals. Especially mammals. Everything about them fascinates me. Their personalities, their behavior, their abilities, just everything. They're like people, but wayyyyy better. I can spend hours with an animal and not get bored. I wish I could maybe someday work at a reservation taking care of captive endangered species or something. I would give anything to be a Surrogate Mother to an animal at a place like that. That's like my dream. But it's not something you can just do. I'm pretty sure you have to have a lot of schooling and training and internships. Maybe it's something I can explore later in life when I have more time. I just feel like I'm waisting this passion I have.

We just watched The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy the other night. i thought it was actually really amusing. Mos Def was pretty darn good. I need to read the book.

Alright, this is getting long.

You know what is completely ridiculous? The Billboard Top 40 Album Charts. It's a little disappointing when the best thing out there right now, is Hannah Montana, and Fall Out Boy.

New.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 05:15:26 GMT

I decided to start a blog to document inspiring stuff, basically.

here you go: blogish

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 06:52:33 GMT

so, i cut my hair off. i think i want to make it even lighter soon. i think i'm also going to get the sides and back trimmed shorter. anyway, have a look-see.

okay.. ignore the crazy face.

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 03:40:44 GMT

the kitties are getting closer. they actually play sometimes; it doesn't last long, but that's okay. Jack, the kitten, wants to play with Frank so bad. He constantly pounces on him, sneaks up on him, plays with his tail. I think Jack is going to be a really good cat. He's got a great personality. I feel like he's my baby; literally. I already love him. And Frank is getting over it bit by bit and going back to normal. I'm not really worried.

Alright, sorry for rambling about my cats.

bleh. school is kind of sucking right now. ever since my best friend there moved, i've been a total hermit and loner. Then I just get in this defiant mood where I tell myself I don't care and i can like school even without having a lot of friends there. But I do care, and it's making school awkward for me. man, those social skills of mine are sure shining through! ...

hah, it's okay. i can spend my free time with my fiance, and my cats. They're my favorite anyway. Oh, and of course -- mommy.

it's been hard to feel good about myself lately because i have no money to do anything with my hair, or get my eyebrows done, or go shopping. sounds kinda shallow but it costs money to be a girl.

i can't wait to get out of federal way. i want to move to seattle so bad. Commuting is killing me. Sitting on the cold bus for an hour there, and an hour back, is not really time well spent.

Days are way too short now. It feels like i don't have time to do everything. To have fun, and get everything i need to get done, done.

i feel stuck ! ! !

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 07:43:29 GMT

woot

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 20:57:57 GMT

my arm is veryyyyy swollen so it's a little warped, but you get the idea.

i designed the idea and basic setup of the drawing, and the artist well, made it better and very cool.

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 02:25:05 GMT

so i was all pumped up for school today, supposed to be the first day back, and then it's ruined. I went to bed early last night, around 10:30 so I could get up a 6. So I get up, get ready, get ready to walk out the door, and then see that it's fucking snowing. It's snowing pretty hard and from what our cars look like, has been for a while. so, i've already got 7 hours of sleep under my belt, and it's 6 in the morning. Matt hasn't slept at all yet, so he's going to bed and I follow. I'm thinking that i'm never going to be able to fall asleep. but who is the master of sleeping? yes. ME. I sleep in until almost 3 this afternoon. hah, my body is fucked. so, hopefully i can go to school tomorrow, because i'm actually looking forward to it. plus i was all syked to see dena and aimee and everyone but noooo.

and also because of this damn snow i never got to have an interview i was suppsed to and now i have to fix that and try and figure out if i can get another interview. MAN. yeah, snow days are awesome when you aren't paying for your schooling, and when i say paying i mean digging yourself into the bottomless pit of debt. And when you have to worry whether your bills will make it on time due to the mail service being fucked, and loosing like 3 full days of work, which equals 3 full days of pay. yeah, SNOW SHOULD STAY IN THE DAMN MOUNTAINS. that way, it's there if we want it, but out of our way. hmph. AND of course there's nothing to do on snow days because you can't drive anywhere without either a. dying, b. getting stuck somewhere, or c. dealing with people who think they can drive in ice like they can on clear roads. idiots.

and we ended up spending 30 dollars at the store today that we don't exactly have to spend. life is expensive.

and since i'm ranting about anything and everything, my hair is boring. it's been this way for so long. i want to do something to it but can't because a. we're broke and if you want your hair to look decent you gotta roll out the big bucks, b. i would have no idea what to do with it, and c. what i have now is easy.

umm.. let's see, what else can i complain about? i figure complaining here is better than making someone listen in real life. here, people can choose not to read it. it's wonderful.

i miss playing doom. pc style.

--edit--

or was it quake? or both? dad?

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 00:58:08 GMT

our brand spankin' new printer. it's.. awesome.

my ass? and matt's drum.

frankkkkkkkkkkkkkk

matt was trying to work with these pictures.. but frank wasn't havin' it.

rar!

classic portrait style?

um.

caught his tongue. GAH! HE'S SO CUTE.

"i'm a cat and i like yarn. meow."

various sleeping postitons of frank.

frank and matty

my ring :) i love it.

that's all. i take far too many pictures of frank, but he's my little boy.

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 05:29:19 GMT

I'm excited for school to start. I miss being there and being around those people. Break has been long; a whole month exactly. I passed all my classes, so that's good. However, it's not good enough so I'm going to uh, study more and party less? Least that's my goal. We need to start saving some money anyway so we can move to Seattle in the fall. I hope we can do that. So, as soon as school starts we are resonsible adults who only eat out occasionally and have a boring, but well-kept life. Hah, in other words, we have to ground ourselves and get our acts together.

I have an interview for a work study job tomorrow. A phone interview to be exact. I bought a new interview outfit and everything and it's a phone interview. hmph. So, uh wish me luck.

Sorry for all the people I didn't see this break. I'm a bit lame.

okay...until next time.

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 02:08:02 GMT

thank god christmas is over. it was just too crazy of a holiday this year for me. spending christmas with everyone was awesome but it just made me broke and stressed. I did get a lot of good things this year that I am very grateful for. Matt and I got an amazing printer that prints photos that look like well, photos, and it's going to be amazing to be able to put pictures up around the apartment now.

I also got some items of clothing that i've ben pretty much living in since christmas. Matt, too.

I got a new phone, not because I wanted one but because I'm an idiot and lost my old one, again, and had to get a new one. I'm going to take care of this one though, it's a keeper.

I got one very very wonderful present from matt, but it won't be ready for about a week, but when I get it, you'll all know :)

I haven't really done much hanging out at all with friends this break. Lots of people are gone, and the only free time I've had up until had to be dedicated to crafting the perfecting gifts, and spending time with family who is only visiting. So, now is the time to spend some good quality time with maybe some people I haven't in a while.. hint guys, hint.

Thursday I got pretty smashed, so I'm not sure I'll be doing any partying tomorrow night for new years eve. I'm still recovering. I'm not sure yet, there are no plans floating my way so there's really nothing to tempt me.

Scrubs is an amazing show.

..see this is what happens when I try and write an entry now. CRAP.

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 05:42:02 GMT

hey guys. i'm doing alright. michel, my best friend here in seattle/at cornish, is moving. she's moving to college in chicago in exactly one week. I don't connect with people often, and i did with her, and it's just sucky that i was only able to experience that for a few months, and then, it'll be gone.

so i'm kinda bummed about that, and i'm a bit worried about money, but other than that i'm having fun. i kind of got in a rut with my schoolwork but i have been steadily digging my self out of it. i realy can't wait until break though, i am insanely ready.

i've been watching cops while studying for the past few hours. Half the time the cops didn't even talk to the people before tackling them and cuffing them. crazy.

matt and i have tickets to see incubus january 6th at the paramount. i'm giddy.

...the cops say "POE-LEESE" in stead of "PUHLICE".. like a gangsta... fuck da police. you know? i can't figure out if the cop is being funny..

tuesday, i'm hoping, will be amazing. i can't wait.

and now i have to go pick up our laundry.